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A Couple Irish Jokes

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

‘Come have a look over here, ’says Paddy, ‘It’s Michael O’ Grady’s grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.’

‘That’s nothing, ’says Sean, ‘here’s one named Patrick O’ Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died.’

Just then, Seamus yells out, ‘Good God, here’s a fella that got to be 145!’

‘What was his name?’ asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker and exclaims: ‘Miles, from Dublin.’

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Irish Job Application:

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager. When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, ‘Thank you for coming to the interview, but We’ve decided to give the American the job.’

Murphy, ‘And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.’

Manager, ‘We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.’

Murphy, ‘And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?’

Manager, ‘Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, ‘I don’t know.’

You put down, ‘Neither do I.’

Popularity: 15% [?]

R.I.P. Jesse Helms

For those who did not know, US Senator Jesse Helms passed away a few days ago. His funeral is today. He was an absolutely amazing man.

To those who were outside of North Carolina, don’t believe all you heard or read about him. The media always portrayed him as an evil, heartless man. Nothing could be further from the truth. He was a truly kind and compassionate man — who always stood by his clear conservative principles. He has already been sorely missed from the US Senate. But I know they’re rejoicing in heaven today.

I wish there could be more men in politics like Mr. Helms. In today’s climate, I’m sure he would be even more vilified. Why? I believe it’s primarily because Senator Helms actually believed in right and wrong. That’s a concept that seems to be utterly and completely missing from the media today. Yes, there is right and wrong — and Senator Helms knew that. Rest in peace, good Senator. You did well.

Popularity: 15% [?]