Nell Flaherty’s Drake
This song has to be one of the silliest Irish Drinking Songs there is. Which, perhaps, is why I like it:
Oh my name it is Nell and the truth for to tell
I come from Cootehill which I’ll never deny
I had a fine drake and I’d die for his sake
That me grandmother left me and she goin’ to die
The dear little fellow his legs they were yellow
He could fly like a swallow or swim like a hake
Till some dirty savage to grease his white cabbage
Most wantonly murdered me beautiful drakeNow his neck it was green almost fit to be seen
He was fit for a queen of the highest degree
His body was white, and it would you delight
He was plump, fat, and heavy and brisk as a bee
He was wholesome and sound, he would weigh twenty pound
And the universe round I would roam for his sake
Bad luck to the robber be he drunk or sober
That murdered Nell Flaherty’s beautiful drakeMay his spade never dig, may his sow never pig
May each hair in his wig be well trashed with the flail
My his door never latch, may his roof have no thatch
May his turkeys not hatch, may the rats eat his meal
May every old fairy from Cork to Dun Laoghaire
Dip him snug and airy in river or lake
That the eel and the trout they may dine on the snout
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drakeMay his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt
May a ghost ever haunt him the dead of the night
May his hens never lay, may his horse never neigh
May his coat fly away like an old paper kite
That the flies and the fleas may the wretch ever tease
May the piercin’ March breeze make him shiver and shake
May a lump of the stick raise the bumps fast and quick
On the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drakeWell the only good news that I have to infuse
Is that old Paddy Hughes and young Anthony Blake
Also Johnny Dwyer and Corney Maguire
They each have a grandson of my darlin’ drake
May treasure have dozens of nephews and cousins
And one I must get or me heart it will break
For to set me mind easy or else I’ll run crazy
So ends the whole song of Nell Flaherty’s drake
Mess with my duck, indeed. 
:)
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I get such a kick out of that song.
Brings a whole new meaning to the idea of cursing someone. Some of that is just downright mean.
And the beat is just perfect for singing along — especially when drinking.
Had a duck delimma over the weekend. It was foggy Saturday morning, and a “duck couple” was trying to land, and the drake ended up in the yard of the neighbor across the street and his Missus ended up on the roof!!! It was melodrama because she seemed to be stuck for many hours. But her dutiful drake stayed guard in that front yard and eventually, I’m not sure when, the little “wife duck” managed to get off the roof and they went their way. That’s what your song made me feel like.
Ducks are fun. Until they start pooping all over the place…
I prefer shooting ducks. Preferably with either my Benelli Nova or my .62 flintlock fowler.
Maybe I killed Nell Flaherty’s Drake?
You monster! Are you sure you want that curse laid upon you?
No. That’s why I said maybe.
Duckophobe.